The Best Love I Never Planned.

The first time I heard you laugh, it was easily one of the best things on earth. Audible love.

Your right palm straddled your coffee mug, while your left held your phone as you typed away almost furiously. You and your two friends sat two tables down from mine, and you conversed in French, a language I was curious about. I decided to eavesdrop to see how good my diction had gotten. I think I may have heard you comment on my beauty.

"Good morning, beautiful."

Foreplay. Deep, nutty voice. Almost made me salivate.

I hadn't realized that you'd walked right up to my table. I had had a terrible night, so I kept zoning out. Your scent - like dark chocolate, but in a forest next to an ocean - wafted softly into my nostrils as I saluted you back. I could get used to this.

"What has you thinking so deeply?"

"Unpredictable kisses and unforgettable laughter."

"Ask me to have a seat."

I gestured at him to sit. I cannot remember what we spoke about, but there was tons of laughter. It was like coming home after a long trip. I was dizzy from the pace of how fast things moved that morning between us.

"What do you find to be most important?" he mused.

"Conversation. And I don't just mean an exchange of words. The conversations between my fingers and someone else's skin have been among the most important discussions I've ever had. If you stop and listen carefully, you realize that someone's body tells you everything you need to know. Where it likes to be held. Where it likes fingertips to lightly graze. Where it likes to feel the warmth of your breath. Or the contours of your face. The sting of a pinch. A tug. A bite, if that's what they like. You learn to read the lines of their body as you would the pages of a book. And when you have studied long, you know their body."

"I like clear and consistent intentions, he chimed in. Tell me how you feel, what you want, what you need. Be as honest as you can be. Have good character, strong enough to see your intentions through. And if you want to stop trying for us, tell me so. Respect me enough to keep it real, so I can make informed decisions."

I cannot emphasize enough how badly I want this man to myself, and for myself. To me, first gut feelings matter most, and my gut is telling me to have a go at some sort of relationship with this man. He has a beautiful mind, and soft eyes. I want us to slip briskly into an intimacy from which we'll never recover. I decide to gift myself this man.

He kisses the back of my legs and I want to cry. Only the sun has come that close, only the sun.

He kisses me, and often, and he knows how, producing a grin on my face before the new light of the day has even touched my eyes.

Afterwards, we join the sun of a Sunday morning with a tranquil, satisfied relish. A tray of toasted English muffins appears along with a pot of coffee. If there is a more perfect way to start the day, I haven't discovered it yet. 

If the fates betray us and our love story fades,

I will settle for

One minute,

Few moments,

Coy smiles,

Just to know, we were once in close proximity.

I have learned. This time, I'll take it slower. I have learned that there are things that must be savoured and drunk a little at a time.

Things like coffee, bourbon, and men.